As I have reflected about the past 6 months, I have seen myself grow as a man due to the people who have entered into my life. I have seen myself become refined and look at parts of my communication and character that have needed more compassion and refinement. It has been painful and uncomfortable at times, but it has been needed to help me grow into the man that God is longing for me to be for his Kingdom, and love toward others.
I continue to listen to Abbie Gamboa’s song from the UpperRoom “Pure.” I am struck in her live 31 minute performance when she states “there is no motive but to love you.” I think of Christ on the cross, and how he gave his life unconditionally. When he was alive, there was no agenda or motive than to free us and to love us. There was “no other motive” than to love us. That was it. We reacted with such hatred and malice that we killed him.
I think about all of the times in my life due to my own trauma when people have attempted to love me and struck back out of hate or fear. I have committed myself to healing my soul wounds and learning and praying how Jesus loved others so I can give that as best as I can. I fail daily, but my heart is committed to love with no agenda or motive than to love and to serve.
The spirit and wound of rejection is one of the toughest things that we have to overcome on this earth, and we all need to feel valued, loved, heard, and validated. Today, I have learned, more than ever, that the words we speak mean everything. Things that Satan uses others as pawns for hurt others. We can have pure love in our hearts, but sometimes the damage that has been done can have a tremendous way that someone hears our words. It is so important to build up people and to not tear one another down, yet, at the same time, we need boundaries with other and we all have to take accountability to heal those soul wounds that have been done to us with Jesus.
However, we have to focus our mouths, our tongues on speaking love and building one another up. I cannot state this enough. Our words need to be spoken to build one another up and to not tear one another down. I have learned the importance of starting to listen to other’s more. That is hard for me at times. I process fast. Yet, daily, I am learning that this is so critical. I am learning true humility as Christ taught us. To ask questions, to learn someone’s love language and to ask their triggers. Not that we are responsible for their wounds. They have to take accountability for their past pains so they can meet others in the middle. Yet, what we speak can either bring us together in Christ’s love or tear us apart. I simply do not want to tear others down anymore. I am learning to ask for that spirit of wisdom and understanding so my words can unify. I am learning daily and this is just so crucial. It’s a daily practice with the Holy Spirit and Jesus.
With that being said brothers and sisters, sometimes, we meet others where they are at. We shine that light to show others their worth, their love, that they are valuable to the Kingdom of God. Had I not had certain people doing that for me, I would not be here. We all could learn humility be owning when we are unkind to others. Asking others for feedback vs. being defensive if we speak unkind words. Learning how to improve our communication so it becomes Godly and leads toward connection.
As men, we need to listen more and not fix. We need to ask questions and just embrace a woman’s heart. I learn daily, but this is so crucial today. When we mess up and leave every conversation with a woman, they should be jumping with joy and they should be saying “thanks hon, I feel so much better, thank you for listening.” If not, we should be asking questions and praying on how we can listen to our spouse or our partners better. It’s as simple as that.
We also need to learn how to become emotionally safe people for others. Not letting our past wounds pour out when someone brings a concern to us. We must be brave and face ourselves with courage and kindness. This does not whatsoever with the person bringing the concern about unloving behavior to the other person permission to be abusive or to put the offender down. The goal should always be walking toward more Godly communication, toward unity, connectedness, love, and understanding one another. Pride and ego need to be given to Jesus.
We need courageous men and women to do the work on themselves with God. To take accountability to a whole new level, with patience, humility, and love. This isn’t about brow beating or perfection or stress. We need to hold one another as God’s treasures. That is how Jesus sees us, as his treasures. Start holding this mindset daily and have the humility to own the things to bring this holy experience into your relationships. There has to be willingness to set a new stage of practicing these things daily in love and fun and honoring God and each other. It’s fun. It doesn’t have to be painful. Those belief systems and being with unsafe people is what has made it this way. Learn how to become that emotional safe person with those you love. Have tough discussions. Work through it with Jesus and the Holy Spirit. We are in the end days and at a crossroads for our very human survival. I encourage each of you to do what is noble and pure. Thank you for reading and may the power of the Holy Spirit anoint each and every one of us reading right now with the power of Godly communication in Jesus name.